The Long Lists of No Nos
by Nishiki-chan27
Summary: Many anime and book crossovers, but DGM and Warriors are the first and the most heavily populated. Lots of thigns I am not allowed to do at random places. Please enjoy.


A/N: I came up with this spur of the moment, while updating my profile. I hope you will enjoy. I do not own D. Gray-Man. Now, I give you:

**~Things I May Not Do At The Black Order~**

1) I may not groan and say "Get a room" when Allen and Kanda are arguing in the middle of the hall.

2) Singing "The Greatest Show Unearthed" is NOT a good plan while fighting the Millennium Earl (though it is funny to watch Moyashi squirm)

3) Telling Miranda "Yes, it IS all your fault" is not acceptable, or tolerable, no matter how amusing the reaction is.

4) DO NOT (I REPEAT) DO NOT CALL ROUVELIER A SPINELESS BASTARD BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SENTENCED TO DEATH.

5) I will not say "here kitty, kitty" when trying to convince Kanda to come over and sit with his "friends"

6) Betting on who will destroy this week's Komurin is not a good money making strategy.

7) Putting Lavi in a room with rabbits and tell him to do some 'family bonding' is not a good past-time.

8) I will not write "Cross is gay" on the walls

9) I will not borrow Cross' Judgment, not even to shoot Rouvelier.

10) Asking Cross "Why is the rum gone?" wasn't nearly as funny as it sounded.

11) For the record, it is fun to 'borrow' and Akuma skull and 'chat' with it. Especially in front of Allen.

12) I will not hang pink and purple streamers from Kanda's rafters to "liven up the place".

13) Gluing rabbit ears to Lavi's head is only funny for the first ten minutes while he's still in shock.

14) Though funny, following Kanda around and singing "The Fish That Never Ends" will end in tears and bloodshed. Don't be deterred, though!

15) Running at Krorykins and brandishing a wooden stake is only funny on paper.

16) I will not tell General Tiedoll that it is the official "Hug A Surly Japanese Exorcist" day.

17) No, stealing Komui's glasses is also not a good past-time.

18) I will not convince Lenalee to dress up as The Corpse Bride on Halloween.

19) I will not enhance any paleness and don a ruffled shirt and striped leggings and go hug Allen on Halloween.

20) I will not ask Reever Wenham how he slept last night.

21) Shouting "Pwned!" every time Allen fails is hard on the vocal chords.

22) I will not declare an official "Hug A Finder" day. Those guys have no sense of humor.

23) I will not put garlic on Krory's door.

24) Going around singing "With the force of a million baboon-raccoons the weaker one will die" while trailing Allen isn't tasteful or tolerable.

25) I will not shout "The British are coming! The British are coming!" as Allen enters the cafeteria.

26) Singing "It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiiiffffeeee" at a funeral isn't acceptable.

27) I will not ask Lenalee how her boyfriend is.

28) I do realize that prank calling Komui with my golem from across the hall saying there is an Akuma attack in lab 5 will land me in Vatican jail.

29) I will not say "Sit boy! Now, roll over!" and brandish a dog biscuit as Inspector Howard Link passes me in the hall.

30) I will not hang sharpened candles around the Order.

31) Reciting "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe to random bystanders is frowned upon in most society, although it is a nifty trick.

32) I will not say "Om" as Kanda meditates.

33) I will not say into the vent leading to Allen's room "Come to the dark side, Allen. Succumb to the darkness" in an eerie voice.

34) I will not ask Tyki-pon "Do you wanna piece of me?!" because yes, he most certainly DOES want a piece of me.

35) Likewise about Cross, but in a more creepy and perverted way.

36) I will not tell Allen to love who is destined to become, because I value my life.

37) Scattering Komui's papers saying "I REJECT!" will get me sacked.

38) I will not call Allen at odd hours of the night singing "Lips of an Angel" because that is backwards and just plain-out wrong.

39) I will not program Komurin to do the robot when someone says "what".

40) I will not sing "What a Wonderful World" while skipping and throwing flowers on Kanda.

41) Singing "The Beer Song" whenever Cross drinks is not acceptable.

42) I will not chant "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" when Cross drinks.

43) Just because you _can_ do a killer impression of a dead person doesn't mean you should.

44) I will not set my army of flying monkeys upon the Order.

45) It is not necessary to point out how feminine Kanda's hair is. He knows, and your life will be in jeopardy.

46) Humming the theme to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" as Krory walks past is tacky and tasteless. Don't do it.

47) If the thought of blood and pain makes me giggle, I must keep it to myself.

48) I will not start singing "The Boys Are Back" from High School Musical 3 when anyone in our glorious Golden Trio comes back from a mission.

49) I will not stage my own death just to see who falls for it, no matter how impressive.

50) I am fully aware that after last week's incident, I am no longer allowed to blackmail Allen by withholding the mitarashi dango.

51) I will not tell Allen Jerry has put him on a diet.

52) I will not refer to Krory as "Dracula"

53) I will not give Link obnoxious amounts of nitrous oxide just to see if he will crack

54) I will not threaten Krory with noodles.

55) I will not tell Komui it is official Kanalee day.

56) I will not call Kanda at odd hours of the night singing "Haunted" no matter how badass my impression of Evanescence is.

57) I will not call Kanda at odd hours of the night singing "When You Were Young", because I would be implying he is gay and thus having my life in jeopardy yet again.

58) I will not call Allen at odd hours of the night singing "Move Along" even though I do enjoy the sight of the stupid moyashi sobbing on his floor.

59) I will not call Allen at odd hours of the night singing "I Want My Innocence Back" because it would probably cause him to commit suicide. Which is frowned upon.

60) I will not call Reever at odd hours of the night to talk about this really weird dream I had, because it is mean.

61) I will not call Chaoji at odd hours of the night singing "How To Save A Life". 'Nuff said.

62) I will not take out a grenade and launch it at the Noah, then turn to my stunned colleagues and say "If there's a will, there's a way. It just may not be the _right_ way" because that last move was not fair.

63) I will not, in response to the last comment, say "All's fair in love and war!"

64) I will not ask Allen about those twenty dollars he owes me.

65) I will not take pictures of Lavi braiding Kanda's hair and sell them on the Internet.

66) I will not tell Krory what everything on his plate is, because it is not tasteful.

67) Dancing around with a jar of dirt singing "I've got a jar of dirt" will attract lots of jealous attention. Just don't.

68) Same goes for free hug signs (Cross takes advantage of them)

69) I will not tell Lavi we've captured his brother, while tying a rabbit up to a chair.

70) Passing a love note to Kanda signed Allen is not funny.

71) The bathroom is not the correct place to store butt loads of rubber duckies, all of which are stamped with "Property of Yu Kanda".

72) Allen's stomach is not the correct place to dispose of toxic waste.

73) I will not give Allen toxic waste then bet on whether he lives, dies, or he goes through triple bypass surgery.

74) I will not give everyone odd top-hats for Christmas. It is tacky, and besides, why would I give away my top hats?! They're expensive and beyond cool!

75) While being able to sing "The Greatest Show Unearthed" in a perfect imitation is an excellent trick, it makes many people uncomfortable.

76) Chanting "Take it off! Take it off!" whenever Allen deactivates his Innocence is just plain wrong and stupid.

77) Valuing your life at the Black Order is just stupid.

78) Calling Kanda "Baka" is also very stupid. Just don't.

79) I will not say "That's what she said" every time Kanda says "che".

80) I will not call Krory at odd hours of the night reciting "The Tell-Tale Heart".

81) I will not send a message over the intercom to the science division singing "She Blinded Me With Science".

82) I will not call Kanda at odd hours of the night saying "Red rum! Red rum!" (murder spelled backwards).

83) I will not claim Lenalee is a fairy princess, and then commence to set her free into the forest.

84) I will not follow Allen around with a camera claiming I am contributing to science by studying the Wild Allen.

85) Likewise with Kanda, Lavi… basically everyone. Exclude Krory.

86) I will not kidnap Miranda's clock for ransom.

87) Setting off a bomb is frowned upon in most society.

88) I will not tackle Allen and begin to gnaw his arm, claiming it's the BIGGEST FREAKING BEANSPROUT I HAVE EVER SEEN!

89) I will not put laxatives in Komui's coffee.

90) I will not invite Road over for a sleepover.

91) Okay, I agreed to the no sleepovers part, but do I really I have to dump Tyki-pon?!

92) I will not set the frogs in the science division free, claiming I was preventing animal cruelty.

93) I will not ask Cloudnyne if Lao Shimin dances.

94) I will not tell Marie to "look at this pretty flower".

95) Starting a game of Russian Roulette with Judgment is unacceptable.

96) I will not punch Rouvelier no matter what kind of an ass he is being.

97) I will not dump bright pink paint on Link to see if he'll crack.

98) I will not dress up as a zombie and then commence to threaten everyone's lives, even though it is funny to see how many people scream.

99) I will not make break all 100 no-nos.

100) …I didn't break the "no Yullen" rule. Yullen must die.

**~The End~**

A/N: So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will be the Warriors series.


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